Air Bud: The College Years

            Air Bud is enjoying his new home in the dorms at Ohio University. His two roommates are these sick bros who are on the lacrosse team and they have awesome haircuts. They teach Buddy how to play lacrosse. They also teach him the importance of lifting, protein, and loudly bragging about all the pussy you may-or-may-not be getting on the regular. Overall, they are sick. Air Bud tries out for the lax team and totally makes it, dude. It was sick.

            Air Bud is the new stud on campus. He always walks around campus wearing a backwards snapback and a crew neck sweatshirt that totally says “Bro U”. When he goes to the gym he wears those cutoff shirts where the sleeves are cut all the way to the bottom so you can totally see his ribcage, which is awesome and sick. He let his fur grow out and is now rocking some sick ‘flow’. He can always be found playing Frisbee outside instead of going to class. But the Dean gets all pissed off and says that if Buddy doesn’t start taking his school work seriously, he will be academically ineligible for lacrosse. Not cool, bro.

            Buddy and some of the guys from the lax team develop a plan to hack into the schools computers to change his attendance records and give him A’s for the semester. It’s a pretty sick plan. They dress up in all black and do some secret agent-type stuff to sneak into the offices after the school closes. Also, they are all apparently really good with computer hacking. Whatever, bro, don’t question it. It was sick.

            Now that Buddy doesn’t have to worry about school, he can focus on the lax season. He is the star of the team and they never lose a game for the entire season. They make their way to the NCAA finals, which is sick. The only problem is that the Beer Olympics are the night before, and Air Bud has to compete in the case race. At the Beer Olympics there are also some chicks Jell-O wrestling, but they aren’t even that hot. Buddy slugs a case worth of fresh Natty and doesn’t even puke. It was legendary.

            The next day at the lax finals, the whole team is hung over. Everyone is puking their guts out. Everyone except Buddy, because he’s a hero. He single handedly leads the team to the victory, and they carry him off the field Rudy style. Air Bud later gets expelled because they found some weed in his dorm room, but it wasn’t even that much honestly. They just made a big deal about it. Not chill.

            The End.

Air Bud NASCAR

Buddy has been enjoying his new home in Daytona Beach, Florida, and has even taken a liking to the local NASCAR scene. He shows up at all the races, able to sneak through the gates while security is checking some woman’s purse or whatever the fuck security does at a NASCAR event. Why does Air Bud love NASCAR? Do you have a dog? Have you ever seen how fucking bat-shit crazy dogs get when cars drive by? Yeah, imagine a dog at a NASCAR race… not so stupid now, is it?

            Air Bud notices one of the drivers working on his car before a big race. I say ‘his’ car because we all know that Danica Patrick is less of a driver, more of a promotional tool. Anyways, the driver (Jeff Gordon) is working underneath his car. He calls for a wrench and Air Bud brings it to him. He calls for a screwdriver and Buddy brings it. He calls for some third tool, and Buddy gets it. Jeff Gordon, satisfied with his work, comes out from beneath the car and sees only a golden retriever standing there. He is surprised by Buddy’s ability to recognize tools and invites him to be a part of his pit crew. Jeff wins the race, and Buddy becomes a permanent part of the team. Air Bud gets one of those sick NASCAR jumpsuits, the ones with all the sponsors on them.

            As the season rolls on, Jeff, with the help of his canine mechanic, slowly climbs up the leaderboard. They are actually in position to win whatever it is you win if you’re the best at NASCAR. Then, in the second last race of the season, Jeff is involved in a horrible wreck. Not only do they lose the race, but Jeff is in no condition to drive for the final race. With the loss, the team now needs a first place finish to win the season. The whole team is defeated, except Buddy. Buddy doesn’t know what it means to give up, mostly because he’s a dog. After some solid motivational barking, he convinces the team to let him race in place of the injured Jeff.

            Now its race day and Buddy is behind the wheel. We see him not only in his kick-ass jumpsuit, but now he also has a sick NASCAR helmet, too. Gentlemen, Danica Patrick, and a fucking DOG, start your engines! It is important to know that absolutely nothing has been modified that would allow a dog to drive this car. He just can, because he’s Air Bud.

            Now, there has got to be some sort of rivalry in an Air Bud movie. So whoever is in first place in the standings is really trying to make sure that Buddy doesn't win, He’s racing dirty, but Air Bud knows that cheaters never win. He toughs it out and wins the race, and Team Jeff Gordon wins the NASCAR thing. The rival driver is pissed off and throws his helmet on the ground. Then Buddy walks over to his car, lifts a leg, and pees on the front tire. Everyone laughs. Except Danica Patrick, who is still trying really hard to ‘prove herself’.

            The End.